Vampyre’s among us – no really!

Before you think I have suddenly gone off the deep end, let me explain to you that I am not talking about the fictional Hollywood style Vampires or even pranic Vampyres, nor about those who are living with a very real illness called Porphyria. I am talking about emotional Vampyres – people who just by their very presence can suck the joy and life right out of you.

Most of us know at least one or two of those types of people. They may be friends, co-workers, loved ones or in some cases even your own significant other. They are always “down”, depressed, negative or have one or the other problem. When that type of person enters a room it is almost as if a heavy wet blanket was suddenly lowered on everyone around and  you can feel your mood slowly shift from normal or happy, to sad, tired and drained.

For some reason as you grow more and more tired, they seem to grow more and more animated. They are almost “giddy” in their misery and love nothing more than drag you down with them. Once they depart you feel as if you have literally just run a marathon or been through a major life crises. Every part of your body seems heavier and your mind is over tired and sluggish. When this happens every time you are in the company of this person you have just met a real life emotional energy vampire (again not to be confused with pranic  (life force) which is a Energy Vampyre as well – but is something completely different).

I have spoken to someone the other day who was telling me about a good friend of hers which she dearly cares for but simply treads to be around. She told me about a Birthday Party for another friend which went from happy and joyous to depressing and ended very quickly after her difficult friend arrived. Most people will have a feeling of wanting to get away from this person, a natural human instinct that recognizes when we are in an unhealthy situation.

Ironically so most of those types of people are very charismatic as well so. They seem to be charming and you feel sorry for their constant bad luck in life. Someone that nice really doesn’t deserve all those problems. The natural instinct is to want to help them, fix their problems for them, lighten their load of worries and be a good friend. The have a natural gift to know just how to talk to you in a why that you feel understood and appreciated, but it comes at a heavy price.  It takes a while before you start realizing that it is always the same and for people who are naturally the archetypical “fixers” they are almost impossible to resist.

Yet resist you must before they literally drag you down with them. The hardest part for you is the feeling of guilt you will encounter when you are trying to distance yourself from them. They are already so depressed all the time, you really don’t want to make it worst by not being there for them when they need you.

If you are not certain about this, test it out for yourself sometime. Become an observer only and shield yourself from the energies around you. You can do this by clearing your mind (medative) and focus purely on observing instead of participating. I usually do this by sitting somewhere far enough removed from those I observe that they do not pay attention to me. Watch as the demeanor, stance and in extreme cases even the pallor of the skin slightly changes when your “special” friend approaches and engages someone else in a conversation. Watch their slight sigh of relieve and even a small shift in stance again once they move on to their next “victim”.

Most people who are “emotional vampyres” are not aware of it. They call themselves realistic and will argue with you until dooms day come that they are not overly pessimistic instead it is all the rest of humanity that has a much too flowery and optimistic approach to life. They do know so that they feel a lot better both emotionally and physically once everyone around them is as realistic or depressive as they are. With that they seek this feeling out over and over again.

It is best to not be around them too much. Nobody can really afford to give their energy to someone else like this constantly and they will take all they can get, leaving you without resources to renew yourself. If they are very dear to you and you do not want to take them out of your life completely simply reduce your contact with them and by being aware of what your reaction to them will be you can shield yourself a little bit. If you start feeling this sudden tiredness come over you, leave the room. Stop or turn the conversation to something extremely positive and whatever they do or say, do not allow them to change your mind or spread doubt in you. Remember that negativity can always be cancelled out by positive mindedness. The key is actually believing in what you say.

A quote I have myself used on my personal resident emotional energy sucker who believes himself to be the only realistic person in the world left is:

“You are not a realist you are a pessimist. Pessimists see only the negative in every situation, They look only for the bad outcome and expect only the worst in life from everyone around them. They do not even consider that something good or positive could actually possibly ever happen. They are actually shocked when something for once works out right for them and even than they are looking for the trap in it or down play it.  An optimist does the exact opposite, They see only the good and never consider that something bad could actually happen. They completely discount the idea that not everything will happen exactly the way you want it to be. That makes them even more hurt when things go wrong and they simply can’t understand why it didn’t work out the way they dreamed it up. A true realist knows that things can go wrong and is prepared for it, but always looks for the best possible outcome. This way they think positive but are not so blind sided that they don’t know that it may not happen the way they want. With other words they are the best of both worlds.”

His argument back to me usually is: Nope a realist knows that nothing ever works out the way you want it to and by knowing and living with that knowledge you have the benefit of never getting hurt when it does. You expected it. Should something actually do go right for once, you can be pleasantly surprised.

Do you see where his outlook comes from a “bad” place? By expecting the bad to happen, he is naturally proven right 90% of the time, because he won’t even allow anything good to come his way. The universe gives you more of what you focus your mind on. If your focus is that nothing ever will work out the way you want it to, than that will be exactly what happens.

Now an emotional vampyre is an extreme pessimist in reality. He has perfected it to an art form almost to the point that if you share something wonderful or a dream, he will pick it apart in an almost caring fashion and twist it until even you doubt that this good thing has ever happened or could happen. Polluting your mind with his negativity. Not something you should expose yourself to constantly.

Another sign is that they seem to be very uncomfortable around very confident and “happy” people. “What do you have to be so happy about?” Tell them one day that you just feel happy for no reason and the instant response will be “Well that won’t last long!” Of course they are right, because as soon as it comes out of their mouth you are already going to wonder why you should be so happy for no reason.

You can’t argue them out of a their negative stance, but you can keep yourself positive by not allowing them to pollute you with their negativity. Do you remember how as a child you were able to tune people out? Do the same thing with them. When they start spouting their “problems”, negativity and dooms day mode start to tune them out immediately. They will notice soon enough when they have lost your attention and go away. Remain firmly in your personal happy place. Look this coming Thursday at my blog http://gentlethoughtsoflove.blogspot.com for an introduction on how to reach and build your personal safe heaven and happy place for beginners. It is actually a lot easier than most people think.

If you live with one of those emotional vampyres and would like to receive some tips and strategies on how to life a perfectly “normal” and even positive life without having to seperate from them, give me a call and let’s talk about you and your emotional vampyre. I will show you how you can negate the situations and even turn them around.

Shalamar